It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
