Buhtt sex?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
