honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
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she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
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I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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