ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
