lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the day after is always just damage control
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
