my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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