I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
