Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
