Swine flu. Run for my life!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
