Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
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her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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