What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
