While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
