Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
