pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
