I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
