I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
