I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
