Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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