We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
