Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
