i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
