You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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