I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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