in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Bring me that man meat
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
