you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm getting married
To pizza
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
