...so i touched it.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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