We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
