he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
