i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
