The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
