its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
