we're chasing vodka with high fives
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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