My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I party with great urgency now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
