You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The air taste purple.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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