did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
do nipples grow back?
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