I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
