i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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