I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
