I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
