I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
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something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
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I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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