i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
