We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
