i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
