I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
