i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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