i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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