Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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