dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
