he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
