Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
