Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
