Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
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i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
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I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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