A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
